Tuesday, December 1, 2009

a change

When we decided to adopt siblings we had so many specific reasons for choosing that path. Reasons that we felt very good and confident about. We have spent the last ten months imagining what it will be like to have our children home. We have imagined playing with them, feeding them yummy meals, reading to them, tucking them in at night, cuddling with them, and so many other things. This dream made the reality hard. The reality was…we needed to change our referral request. We changed it from our original request for two children between the ages of 0-39 months, to a girl between 0-12 months. We didn’t change because we were tired of waiting. Yes, we have been on the waiting list for almost 45 weeks, but the waiting had absolutely nothing to do with the change we had to make. We had to make the decision based on what was best for our family. We had to look at the big picture and imagine what our lives would be like if we instantly became parents to two children who would need so much of our attention. We had to put our strong desires to adopt two children aside and do what was best for our child. Our child. Not children. Even though this change feels a little bit like the end of a dream, we are very excited to find out who our daughter is and start our family together. We know that she will have a sibling someday, just not today.

I want to say big thank you to everyone who has been posting words of encouragement and letting us know you have been praying for us. We really appreciate it. It has been about three months since I blogged, but that’s really nothing new! I am hoping to have some exciting things to blog about very soon.

4 comments:

Mark and Heidi said...

Gladney has been "reviewing our preference" with us lately and we have had to make some difficult decisions too - so I know that even when you make the right decision for your family, letting go of a dream can be hard. Sending you love and getting very excited to hear the news that you have seen your daughter's face!

Heidi

The Busters said...

Just wanted to stop by and offer words of encouragement. That couldn't have been an easy decision! BUT I will be very excited to hear news of your daughter!! Take Care, Emily B. (I am several spots down from you on the FBI list.) :)

Lindsey said...

I am lifting you up and asking for peace in your heart. May news come swiftly!

More Dorrs said...

I'm sure the decision wasn't easy, but you are right -- you have to do what is right for your family.

Hoping to see some good news here soon...we will (hopefully!) be traveling soon and I would love to get some pics of your sweet baby girl, whoever she may be!

-beka